Picture Perfect

Recently, a coworker of mine told me about her experiences with online dating and how it ended up with her being married and a happy, changed woman. It was surprisingly inspiring, her confidence and the turn of events she experienced. So, just for fun, I made an account as well.

It is an awkward feeling at first. But it’s exciting to see who could be out there, looking for someone like you. After answering the basic questions and making a pitiful About Me section, I searched through some of the options available.

And honestly, I was put off at first. The options of a small town can be disappointing. But, with a deeper search, I seemed to have found someone incredibly promising.

A well known nature photographer, who has been successful in making a career out of his passion and has traveled the world (including Mongolia!!!!) doing what he loves. He’s very funny as well as intelligent, and absolutely gorgeous.

So of course, my first instinct is: He’s way out of my league.

But then I ask myself, is there really such a thing? In every day life, with anyone at all, I feel like we’re all capable and equal in our abilities to be beautiful and do beautiful things. Yet when it comes to deeper, more sensual feelings, I’m so quick to put people, myself included, into levels.

It’s not needed. It’s not necessary. But I do it instantly.

I have not traveled the world, no. But I know California better than a lot of people and travel with ease, with experience. I am not a professional in my passion, but I am working my way there. Just because I’m not there yet, doesn’t mean that I won’t be soon, some day. I’m not incredibly beautiful by societies standards but I take care of my body and I am attractive.

I have to remind myself of my worth when putting my heart on the line. Exposing myself to true feelings of desire, lust or love strips me bare. I crave love and affection, and fear it just as much. I pride myself in my devotion to what I care for, but shy away from caring for someone in the aspect of love.

In the end, so much good can come from opening myself up to someone. Someone who seems like such a wonderful catch. Realizing that I am amazing and he is amazing, in different ways but in similar terms, I open up the possibility of creating something beautiful.

I just have to let it happen.

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