The last few days have been a real drag for me. I’ve been in a slump, only able to scrounge up enough energy to do one project or so a day and not much more. For the 2 weeks I’ve been here without Dad, there was a lot for me to do and while I’ve gotten a big portion done, I’m disappointed I haven’t succeeded in doing more.
Time is going by so fast – in just a week and a half, it’ll be a month since I moved away. And a month more from there, I’ll be back from Virginia and need to be looking for a job here. I feel like I’m in a perpetual motion of going warp speed and then coming to an extreme, abrupt halt that throws me forward before tossing me back.
Maybe it has to do with the full moon tonight. Full moon in Capricorn, Sun in Cancer. From what I read, this time is about reflecting on the lessons in the past few months (too many to name, so much has happened) and healing from the wounds and coming out stronger. It seems fitting for my current situation and mindset.
When talking to my sister (I love you) about it earlier, I realized: it will be a long, long while before we’re really settled here. There is so much on our list of to-do’s, and we’re finally in a spot where we can focus on the goals, one thing at a time, and make progress. It’s going to be long and expensive, but it’ll be worth it in the end with what we create.
It’s up to us and the effort we put in. I can’t expect myself to be fired up and fully charged from the get go in getting everything done. But, I have to keep moving on and not go days on end without really doing much. Small steps lead to a greater willpower and that’s what I need to remember.
As well, I need to eat better. I need fuel to keep going. The elevation difference still gets to me some days and I haven’t slowed down on smoking like I was planning on, so my energy is already low and then I don’t feed myself enough to keep going. There’s a lot of room for personal changes as well. Finding a balance between the change of scenery and change of self is a challenge in itself.
There’s no looking back, is what it comes down to. I may visit the Central Coast often and of course, keep my family of friends close to me in all that I can, but there’s no bringing back the opportunities I had there to here. That goes against why we moved in the first place, essentially. I’m not upset about this – just coming to a realization. It’s time to start looking forward and doing the best I can to stay balanced on the road ahead of me. What’s done is done and it’s behind me now.
“You are receiving guidance from your true self, your higher consciousness, which is one with Divine universal wisdom. You are listening to love rather than fear.”
My last Faerie Oracle reading, this was the main card to present itself. As a theme, the cards have been telling me to let go of my worries and anxieties, have trust that I am moving in the right direction and to take in as much nature as I can. It’s always been difficult for me to let go of what “control” I think I have and let fate take over the wheel. It seems I have no choice here though, for the time being. I just need to enjoy the ride.